Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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