if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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