Grow some girl-balls and come out already
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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