I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
