Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
