There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
