We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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