If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
