That's intense
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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