I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
