Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
