I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
