Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
