Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  The maid of honor just puked.

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  (312): The maid of honor just puked. http://tfl.nu/qiyl
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (1287)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...

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  (978): guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out... http://tfl.nu/78da
  Replies (23) Good night (835) Bad night (5233)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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  (301): he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself. http://tfl.nu/68qu
  Replies (13) Good night (4443) Bad night (1114)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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  (608): It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/47ew
  Replies (10) Good night (3562) Bad night (1135)
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  (+30): View more from

  Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi

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  (+30): Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi http://tfl.nu/acnu
  Replies (13) Good night (6120) Bad night (1159)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.

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  (202): Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile. http://tfl.nu/r7sn
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (3260)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4677) Bad night (1849)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1582) Bad night (878)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1615) Bad night (510)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

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  (239): Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer http://tfl.nu/egws
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (658)
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  (408): View more from California

  You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."

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  (408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom." http://tfl.nu/ayfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1358) Bad night (422)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.

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  (781): So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT. http://tfl.nu/457t
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (276)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."

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  (401): I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks." http://tfl.nu/iwi5
  Replies (6) Good night (1081) Bad night (232)
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  (760): View more from California

  This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful

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  (760): This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful http://tfl.nu/eznx
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (254)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Maybe for her....

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Her problem, not mine

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  (775): Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA? (1-775): Maybe for her.... (775): Her problem, not mine http://tfl.nu/f1v7
  Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (230)

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