Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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  (810): I'm laying in your front yard are you home http://tfl.nu/8whw
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (548)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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  (574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI. http://tfl.nu/701e
  Replies (19) Good night (3958) Bad night (535)
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  (310): View more from California

  so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?

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  (310): so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump? http://tfl.nu/ubjm
  Replies (33) Good night (882) Bad night (4383)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10916) Bad night (1398)
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  (949): View more from California

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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  (949): Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick" http://tfl.nu/m9ln
  Replies (22) Good night (3852) Bad night (1249)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2369) Bad night (909)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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  (904): so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination http://tfl.nu/nopp
  Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (1037)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.

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  (403): I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick. http://tfl.nu/pw1i
  Replies (8) Good night (2634) Bad night (596)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
  Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

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  (916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91
  Replies (0) Good night (753) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?

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  (519): Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right? http://tfl.nu/pz20
  Replies (11) Good night (783) Bad night (1571)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.

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  (920): I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister. http://tfl.nu/n0zu
  Replies (11) Good night (1121) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.

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  (541): People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized. http://tfl.nu/aj4f
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies

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  (775): He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies http://tfl.nu/uhfl
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (260)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.

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  (216): I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm. http://tfl.nu/ibg7
  Replies (4) Good night (322) Bad night (700)

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