Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?