Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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