you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
