Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
