Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
