we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
