Quick, to the slutcave!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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