ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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