i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
