And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
