How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
