i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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