New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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