Who wears a wallet chain?!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize