you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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