Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
