She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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