Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize