I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
