I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
