And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
