Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
