It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
