i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
