and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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