My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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