Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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