I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
