Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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