how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
