it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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