So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
