I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
how drunk are you?
Several
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize