Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize