If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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