he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
