I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
