I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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