It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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