She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
